Body Shaming

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The topic i am going to jot down today is very personal and overwhelming for me because i dealt with this issue in the past and still dealing with it.

The concept of body shaming is very vicious. It mentally damages a person to a pronounced extent. We intuitively tend to judge an individual by their appearance. We live in a society where measurements of our body value more than the purity of our soul. Where looking good is valued over health. Where skin colour speaks louder than our actions. Society framed beauty standards which are quite unrealistic to match up.

When i was a kid i remember seeing magazines which told beauty only came in certain shapes and sizes. They mentioned skin lightning methods, and i remember vividly , plastic surgeries were trending back then. I was not capable of understanding why looking a certain way was important. I was always a fat child, was bullied in the school for being fat , i also had a skin issue back then which made my survival in school next to impossible.

I always felt like i never belonged there, people around me in school were well maintained, at least for me they were! average weight scale, good skin and confident. I was shy, intimidated and very unambiguous.

For me the concept of body shaming was introduced by my family. Worse right! i was not only rejected in my school but was also in my family…. every single time i would attend any family gathering i used to be the center of attraction not in a positive way though. It was very difficult a young tender mind, it was corrupted with negativity. Feared judgement and rejection from family and friends. No one ever reminded me or told me for 13 years that i was beautiful too. I was separated from others just because of my i looked.

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I personally never understood the concept of body shaming or what we call social stigma of obesity. Which takes a heavy toll on an individual’s mental health. Depression, social anxiety, self hate branches out. There is a nuance between educating about weight and body shaming an individual. Why does society stress up on being beautiful and attractive rather than encouraging people to be healthy. And being beautiful in a way which is accepted by the society ! lets accept their standards are not universal .Society’s beauty standards…… umm where beauty is measured with a measuring tape, where a waist line should of 24, fair complexion with rosy cheeks , blond and long hair , big blue eyes, sharp nose and striking cheek bones and having a hourglass body is beautiful. Wow pretty unrealistic, it’s foolish to expect every women to look this way.

I am worth more than my self-doubts." - A Monday Mantra

How does society expect very individual to look according to their framed standards. People rage different backgrounds with respect to ethnicity, and every individual is beautiful. There should not be blue print which guides our bodies to be framed a certain way. Every individual is beautiful and their unique beauty makes them different. Self acceptance and self confidence is something intuitive and no one has to be given the authority to frame and graph them , at the end confidence and self love matters.



Rupi Kaur, Milk and Honey, Rupi kaur milk and honey, poetry, book ...

Everyday I see sun being swallowed by the horizon taking away all the day light, letting darkness and the moon emerge. I see death of hope and birth of despair. Everyday i live these death.

Has somebody ever loved you, loved you so much that they hurt themselves when they fear your departure and that hurts you so bad because they mean so much to you ? Why are feelings and relationships very complicated why do they always come with a price which cant be compensated? Why is loosing someone so scary , Why cant love and life be the same again? Friendship and love both are important , but when there is immense friendship with love , but no lacks romantic inclination that sucks!

Is it easy to love someone when they don’t love you back? Can love forgiveness change into vengeance? Can hatred replace love? How far can they go to win the war….. Can a life withstand only when the other person stays ?

Does it hurt that she was his beautiful regret, how could he take the pain she caused him without complaining? she regrets ,she could not save him from her she was his venom and he still choose her without any questions why? She could not see his wounds, because she knew what caused them. She saw him break, something she loved nurtured was in pain.

I have a small story, a guy who was out of a heartbreak was recovering, he looked for a friend and then came the girl she was every thing he needed a friend, a best companion , a human diary she was every thing. She taught him how life goes on discussed very dream she had and listened to his aspirations. She loved him so much, he always topped her priority list, she talked about his vibe , his aura everything that he never came across. He was her dearest. He was the first person to experience that amount of care and nurturing from her. He was her best friend , he fell for her. She felt she dragged him into the pool of pain again , this time infinite times stronger. She could see her creation break tear apart because of her.. The more he knew he would not get her, he loved her even more. She felt she betrayed him and she knew she was right. Wasn’t it her responsibility to make things clear form the beginning. She was helpless so was he. Lesser he knew he will always have a part of her and she will forever cherish him forever.

She would always leave with a part of her and take a part of him if she left, she knew. Walking out was an option she had but she knew she would never do that, how could she? The very last thing she could do is ask for forgiveness, plead for his tranquility.

For her he will always be;

Being kind to one and all, nice to the good and nicer to the mean. Smiling at random, gloomy faces while walking down the street. Loving life and everything that lives such a beautiful person by heart you are! , you see elixir in venom, your aura and vibe are so soothing. Forever your name would be compared to something very pure and scared To someone with a pure hearth and soul……… Your such a spectacular creation of god.


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I am addressing this with a very heavy heart, i formerly apologize if my writing is not chronologically framed , because i am all over the place now.

Yesterday, I came across a news. In India, Kerala a pregnant elephant was fed a pineapple filled with crackers!! can anyone imagine how painful it would be for a living being , a mother , a pregnant mother.!! i am really astound by human cutlery. She was wandering for food did not harm anyone in the village , even when her mouth was bleeding due to the crackers she went to the nearest river to sooth her bleeding mouth and burning stomach.She was just standing in the river and died…… can anyone imagine how helpless she left. What must she be thinking, she might be cursing her self to trust humans , blaming her self to eat poison which was cover in elixir, may be she felt responsible for her child’s death.

Elephants are considered to the kindest of all animals , they are a ray of hope for wisdom and calmness in this world. And elephants have the longest pregnancy period 95 weeks! how precious should have the baby been to his or her mother.

We humans are very authoritative we are the most barbaric creatures, thinking this planet only belongs to us , REALLY ? this planet belongs to every creature living on this planet. Animal cruelty is a sin, it will never be forgiven. We will demolish our plant by continuing these kind of shameful and sinful activities. Say no to animal cruelty. Many wild animals are less wild and humans are lacing humanity, this kind of activities should not be overseen every living being must be severed justice . My heart is drenching in pain i am able of feels her pain , shameful. Heartbreaking.

Kerala: Pregnant Elephant Fed Pineapple Stuffed With Crackers ...


How to Overcome Job Interview Anxiety

Dear anxiety , You are a vicious circle, all you do is trap me in , i can’t expose you because i fear you would take a human form and vandalize me. Your are my punisher and i am your captor. Your my tormentor and torture. I don’t remember our first encounter, there was never a proper description about you, you were an uninvited guest who appeared form no where to play with my emotional health. You are a monster. You always told me i was not good enough, never gave me an opportunity to love my self , i always made it a point to highlight my imperfections always thought i was ugly and and was too fat , never have i ever given my self a chance to embrace my self , why did not i ? Because you have set some boundaries which i thought were true. I always felt conscious about the way i looked and what others thought about me. Don’t you think you should take the blame, the blame of wasting my years , not giving me the confidence to love my self . You were controlling me , intuitively i was always considering your opinion to be more veracious than mine! WOW look how strapping you are, enough to make a person feel inferior. For me you were even worse , you took away my self respect and gave me depression . Could you more pathetic than this? You had me, congratulations! want to how i felt my soul cracked, i burnt my self in pain , until my pain goes out in light and my nerves dead , just like it should be or you wanted it to be. I don’t know why i listened to you , you had the authority to force me down on to my knees and beg for sanity. I screamed as loudly as i could i could feel you crawling up my throat , stealing my voice burning my hair into ashes , cascading out my eyes, eating up my body , turning bones into dust , you screwed me. But the chaos was me in head and the voice was not heard out, there were days i thought this was not real , i was hoping that this was not real but you being a demon bought me back to my sad reality. YOU SUCK!

yours truly, one of your victim.

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I suffered with panic attacks , sleep paralysis and anxiety attacks. Probably every thing i could suffer , which further took a toll on my mental health . Completely i was under all theses , i never knew what to do and how to react when i was suffering with anxiety. Was too nevi to open up. Mental health of an individual must be prioritized at all costs because when feelings and emotions are not taken seriously chances are the individual takes wrong steps.

Firstly what is anxiety , its the way our body reacts or responds to stress. It is a feeling of fear or uneasiness before a situation takes , person suffering with anxiety always anticipates the worst. Anxiety can be ephemeral or enduring if, you suffer anxiety for more than 6 months then chances are you are suffering anxiety disorder , this has to be clinically addressed.


It’s quite normal to feel anxious about shifting to a new place , get a new job or even giving an examination. This type of anxiety is unpleasant and causes discomfort to an extent. But when you motivate yourself to work hard and push your limits its considered to be normal anxiety , it is a feeling that temporarily comes and goes but does not overpower your daily routine. But in case of anxiety disorder the uneasy feeling continuous to take over your daily routine, it’s an intense feeling , like a shadow that follows you every where.

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Its like inescapable its feels like a trap you can’t escape the only was to win over it is to fall for it once fight it , win over it and return back stronger and braver. Many times anxiety disorder may cause you to stop doing what you like. Anxiety may also encounter as phobias. That means you only feel anxious only when you do something you fear. Phobias are many types some are, acrophobia; fear of heights, hydrophobia; fear of water, arachnophobia; fear of spiders while an individual suffering with a phobia encounters his or fear then they experience height level of anxiety.


As per my knowledge with reference to my past experiences i feel they are closely related, but it’s not a compulsion that they occur at once, but its not unusual for them to occur at the same time. Majority of people who are suffering through anxiety have reported clinical depression or the scenario was vice-versa.

Its necessary to speak to someone when your facing these mental health problems. Speaking to others would help ease the situation and their support would help you get out of it. Its okey to suffer with anxiety, you can get through it and will be out, hold on and believe in the process of resilience.

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A piece of my heart

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Let’s meet again, once again, I did swear, I won’t whisper you mine own, Romeo but a bewildering stranger, Lost in the copse , of my deceased soul.

I surmise you the night we met, I languorously looked at you, Your sparkling eyes, messy hair, And that nonchalant grin.

It was a proper meet up after two years of parting ways, We encountered and our eyes full of nightmares, With fear of walking away, To the end, brushed again, And I remember the joyous pain that bought, us close again.

I still hear, fear, The cacophony of those ugly silence, That spread around the room, Like rings of fire and the darkness of night.

Let’s breath, For one last time, Let the air feel the effervescence of nostalgia, That runs through my mind, lets live the moment, For one last time……….

Masculine and Feminine Ways Of Expression

Cosmic Balance, Masculine and Feminine Principles, Part 3/7 ...

Ways of expression , they differ from person to person because psychologically very individual is different. Yes that’s absolutely true every individual has their own way of expression and naturally women are considered to be more expressive than men. Society being unambiguous and rigid has categorized men to be masculine and women to be feminine ,all strong and powerful words are attached to men such as aggressive, analytical , blunt , worldly and many more. Where as women are associated with delicate words like , nurturing, home oriented , gentle, indecisive. These are the words often used by gender stereotypes when they are asked to differentiate between a man and a women.

These words which differentiate a man and a women are not only making men think that they are tough and very stable but also makes them think men are not meant to express emotions , i have some men in my own life who consider emotions are not meant for men , this ideology will not only make them believe that expression is a feminine thing but will also lead them to toxic masculinity further transforming them into chauvinist.

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Why did not we normalize the concept of ”BOYS CAN’T CRY” its okey to be expressive, its okey to be a sensitive man who possess the ability to understands emotions. We all have said at least once to a man that ” bro be a man , guys don’t cry” rather than saying ”its okey you will be fine , please don’t cry”. In every possible situation we stopped men from expressing, when they burst out due to pain , fear, heartbreak just by saying MEN DON’T CRY. We never encouraged them to be transparent with their feelings and they don’t speak up.

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We did not encourage normalization of emotions, women and men are physically different but i strongly believe that we are gifted with same set of emotions and feelings , we have set boundaries and built restricting walls for their expression. Have you ever imagined how would the world be if we never categorized feelings and emotions , how easy would it be for men to let them selves out. It would be effortless for them to speak out about how are they feeling and what are they going through. As a progressive society we have to take a stand and break the typical stereotypes and generalizing emotional health. Dealing with mental health issues has no gender, it is accustomed for man to be depressed , having mental health issues ,its our responsibility to understand them and support them go through this , assuring them they are not alone.

Lets talk…..

I really don’t know what to write up because i am lost. Lost with many thoughts , i cant even stress about my mental health getting vandalized over the past year and how hard it for me to coop up and the my tormenting experiences , GOSH.

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I don’t know how many people need to hear to this but things will be okey. You will get better the felling of being rejected , suffering a loved ones departure , the feeling of not being able to fit in box every thing will fade. In this chaotic world where very one is busy leading their lives and making it a point that they are heard , you have to be your own comfort. Because at the end of the day your soul will heal you. Before I take a spin towards my story of how i came out of my grey thoughts , I would like to bring in light one thing , depression is different of everyone the roots cause of it and at which stage is it in right now. The healing process has to be deal differently with every individual with respect to their psychology.

Things were pretty rough from the beginning of the year , had a lot to deal with my health physically and mentally , had my academics on top of me pressurizing. I wanted to push my self to do better. Wanting to do everything and anything making my self ambiguous all these things burdened me up but I was still doing I have to accept. And then came my health issue where i was bed ridden for 5 months , feeling worthless. I was not allowed to walk sitting was a task , painful physiotherapy added up. I was lost in an ocean of negativity felt like a loser, was not attending my collage had to depend on my peers for every thing and my assignments ,their deadlines i could see my self trapped . Life was different those five months were difficult. I recovered finally thought things can get better but I Lost someone very dear to me , they were no more the fact that i could not see them or hear them was devastating . I personally never anticipated their lose may be that’s why i fear death now. It has become one of my greatest fear loosing some one you love the most to death is unrealistic.

That incident has taken a toll on my emotional health every badly , living with that was not easy. Thinking things could not get any worse , I kept moving on and prayed to get better. But my testing period was not yet complete i was bullied at collage , lost friends experienced two faced people which was only theoretically familiar to me . I was broke was shattered into a zillion pieces i did not know what to do where to start and how to get back to my normal self , I could see I was no longer the same person something was departed in me and that was me accepting my self.

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I started to run , run away from everyone and everything , then I figured out that ” I saw just not sad was depressed ” when ever I talked about it they just thought i was making up an excuse to bunk collage and not interact when others. I was never take seriously. Then the real demons appeared anxiety , I also was a prey to panic attacks , sleep paralysis…. I had everything which took me towards self harm and destruction. One day i just had a thought, of me bring chirpy and jovial again, i wanted to end this I had to fight , It was my battle , My battle which i have to fight by myself and win.

My journey was not easy raging a battle to win my self back was not an easy task , it was demanding, I had to emotionally rebuild my self to put my self out there again and I went through it all alone. There were nights I cried my self to sleep , I needed care, concern , motivation to frame my self .

Then was the time i realized the value of self love and self healing, if you love your soul and nurture it it will heal you. I explored very thing I like embraced my skills in cooking , analyzing understanding people listing to them all these activities kept me focused and aligned ,helped me achieve peace , gave me new ways to love my self.

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I grew into a better person, became more sensitive towards people and will get better everyday…. It took me a year and a half to heal, take your time to nurture and love yourself. It will happen <3……

Let’s discover ourselves

Have you ever been so confused with your self and the aura that is been around you , your aura defines you as an individual. Are we transparent to our own self.? You may not be an outgoing, you may have different way of expression , every one are not same and it’s not mandatory that we all are expressive in the same way. Trying to fit in the box or procuring the perfect image that society has set up for us we often loose our self.

Lacking self confidence is pernicious and the period where you are not you and try to fit into someone’s shoes this problem becomes more , we tend to stay calm and our mode of expression comes down. At this time we doubt our selves, a lot of questions pop up which must be addressed, because if they are left unnoticed the person suffering self doubt will never be released form this vicious loop .

We all are distinct and unique,all of us have the the capability to stand out. There is nothing more beautiful than we as individuals embracing our own selves and celebrating our own uniqueness.


7 Karma Quotes that will enlight your life (With images) | Karma ...

What if the person chasing all the wrong things and wrong relationships finally realize……..

There is nothing more scary than karma repeating it’s self …….

the history which finds comfort in re-scripting it’s self

The time (or) the infinity loop will coincide and then it pays back……

And then a never ending imprecation or a eternal blessing will be granted.

The Journey Begins

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton

Every one out there who takes out time to check out my blog and motivate me to do better i thank every one of you from the bottom of my heart. I am not an excellent writer but i write what all my heart feels, the thoughts that emerge from my heart which always contradict with my mind. A war that is instituted by my mind and heart in with the chaos of my heart is either managed or shattered by my mind.